Tuesday, May 15, 2012

What was I thinking when I signed my kid up for sports?


Right now I'm sitting here drinking a glass of wine, about to go for my second and it's all because Tee ball is the devil.  Why the hell do we sign up for shit like this?  Two kids are playing in the dirt, two are LAYING down in the field taking a little rest, and the pitcher is sitting down just chilling like he doesn't have a job to do.  My child is one of the dirt throwers. 

It's hard b/c you don't want to stand there and scream at your kid the whole time like an asshole, but at the same time you just want to rip them off the field and kick them in the ass.  You can't do that b/c that's considered child abuse, so you stand there like an idiot and just pray that the ground will open up and swallow you.  Before anyone gets all pissy, I would never kick my kid in the ass literally.  Relax!  I honestly had no idea what to do.  MY freaking kid played in the dirt THE WHOLE GAME! 

Do they not bench kids anymore?  I would be perfectly fine with the coach laying the smack down and throwing my kid on the bench, or making them run laps.  Even raising his voice every once in a while.  He's a very nice man, but I can see he's stressed with these little monsters. 

What's my role supposed to be?  We practice at home.  We go over the rules before the games.  My child is very well behaved IN EVERY OTHER SITUATION.  People love to take my kid b/c they are so good.  Why can't the little shit just behave at Tee ball?  Until I come up with a solution, I'm just going to have to bring wine to tee ball.  Wine at tee ball would definitely help me.  WINE!!!!


  1. I'm one of the idiots always yelling my kids name and then using sign language to tell them to get up or pay attention, even to my almost 9 yr old who plays coach pitch, i love to see my kids active and playing sports. part of me says to wait til they're older but the other part says if i wait then they won't be interested then and i don't want to have one of those lazy teenagers, i come from a family who is huge in playing ball, but even the smallest thing to dealing with the other snotty ass parents to the bigger side of havinc 2 different kids playing ball and having at least 4 games a week and god knows how many practices, that it takes about a month to get my sanity back after ball season

  2. Ha ha!!!! Oh the joys, cute as hell tho'. xxx