Tuesday, October 16, 2012

It's my stupid birthday again

So tomorrow is my birthday and once again I'm a bummed out pile of whiny.  I hate my birthday.  I've hated it for as long as I can remember.  Most people want piles of presents, maybe a party, or to just be with their family.  I like to sit on my ass, maybe have a drink or 12, watch tv or read a book, and just to be left alone.  Bake me a cake and get out of my face.  Sounds kind of harsh doesn't it? 

As far back as I can remember most of my birthday's have sucked major donkey balls.  I honestly can't remember a good one I've had since I was about 14.  Even my 21st which is supposed to be the birthday of all birthdays kind of ended up sucking in the end.  I ended up taking care of a bunch of drunk, puking fools all night and making sure no punches were thrown. :-/  Now making fun of drunk idiots can be amusing, but not when they are puking in your car, or fighting.  I'm a small girl.  I can't be trying to break up a fight between two big grown ass men, and I shouldn't have to. 

On top of all that someone usually picks a fight with me on my damn day.  Never fails, a snarky smart ass, rude comment will be thrown my way.  Never freaking fails!  This is why I normally end up avoiding all people except for my immediate family, and I even avoid them a little.

Now normally I'm a glass half full kind of girl, but when you are going on your 31st birthday and you can only look back and remember one kick ass day out of 31, it tends to jade you a little.  I always start out the month with a little skip, and little optimism, but as the dreaded day gets a little closer, I get a little more pissy.  I can't help it.

Now I can tell you two things that have been done for me to redeem my day.  This year my husband and sister bought me tickets to go to a show, and meet some stars from the show after it was over.  This absolutely made my year.  My birthday will still suck as it usually does, but I will have the memories from that awesome day, and no asshat can take that away. 

The second was after my 21st.  I was dating this guy that completely ruined my birthday.  He was one of the drunken idiots.  The following weekend we went out again to try and salvage my birthday, and guess who got drunk and started acting like an idiot?  Yep that guy.  So I made him leave, and went out with my husband who was just my friend at the time.  We spent my birthday at a strip club, and a couple dance clubs.  Now that was an interesting day, and maybe a blog post for another day.

Anywho, I'm sorry to be such a debbie downer, but as you can tell I hate my birthday.  I try and stay positive anyway, and occasionally feel a little excitement about it, but it's just hard to stay positive about a day that's shit on you for the last 16 years.  I love my husband, because since the day we became friends he's tried to make it a special day for me, and no matter what he always gets at least a little smile out of me on the poo day.  So today and tomorrow I'll be hiding out on my couch in my yoga pants.  I probably won't even wash for the occasion.  I'll try to stay a little positive and at least be happy about living another year, but I can't make any promises. 



  1. Be happy Panda !! I just had my 69th birthday, and it sucked, but not as much as the next one will. It is terrible to be 25 on the inside, and look like my grandmother on the outside !! Panda, I have underwear older then you !! ( hope this makes you smile )

  2. Happy Belated birthday to you! Yes you made me smile. Thank you!